Painting Your Life Canvas

A few years ago I started thinking about my personal mission statement. In the nonprofit world, every organization is driven by a mission that outlines their purpose for existing. Every program, hire, decision, and partnership is based on seeing that mission come true. If it doesn’t make sense for the mission, it doesn’t make sense for the org. What I love about that is the frequent, almost righteous, occasions for the org to say no. Not only is saying no to opportunities that don’t align with the mission acceptable, it is necessary. But what about me? What was my mission? At that time especially I needed the focus, because after college I had found myself pinballing from one passionless source of income to another. 

Adulting is a post-college activity that I was very overconfident about.

Figuring out how to get my work life to align with the topics and interests I am personally excited about has been a journey. Like most recent graduates that needed to choose a paying job over an unpaid internship while in school, the experience requirements for entry level positions became a barrier for employment. The smile lighting up my face became strained as interview after interview passed without an offer in my field. I stumbled into the nonprofit world after graduation because it seemed like a logical conclusion for someone with creative writing and sociology degrees. I thought I would go right into using my writing skill, but instead I was lugging banners and pamphlets around LA for events, managing calendars, pacifying elderly white men, and struggling with my rent. Life - especially in Los Angeles - has a way of pitting your dreams against your survival. (And laughing at you.)

So I had a job and I was on a career track. In the midst of a struggling job economy that was an achievement - even if the pay was less than I was making as a waitress. But I was restless. I was bored. By the second year at that job I was stressing my mom out every other week with threats to quit despite a recent promotion. I wasn’t using any of the skills I’d spent the first 24 years of my life building, and I felt trapped in a life I didn’t choose or particularly like.

I didn’t know how to break the mold. In a city like LA, you're basically asking for homelessness if you think you have the luxury of questioning your career path. And I’ll be honest - I have expensive tastes; especially when it comes to where I live. My high-rise apartment would not withstand a passion crusade to find my purpose. Besides, I was making headway in this career field: my bosses had become my mentors, I was building a network in a young professionals group, I knew I was indispensable to the company, and every few months I was even able to convince myself that I loved my job. Shouldn’t that be enough? My mom thought so and so did everyone else in my family. But the thought kept nagging me - 

At the end of your life, how do you want to be remembered? 

I needed to answer that question. The adrenaline rush of entering adulthood, having the time of my life in college, breaking myself to finally cross the threshold of graduation, and fighting to keep my head above water in an expensive city was wearing off. As I settled into my routine I suddenly saw myself standing before the great, blank canvas of my life as it stretched out in quiet anticipation in front of me. It would have made me excited - seeing all that open space to create something beautiful - except that when I looked down, I didn’t like the haphazard images that had started to form at my feet. The evidence of an unloose pinball. I knew that if I didn't take ownership of my life path, these arbitrary strokes of color would be what I had to show for myself and that was a wake up call.  

I believe that every person on this planet has a purpose for being alive - a contribution to the world that only they can make. One that is crucial to the survival and evolution of the human race - and that it’s almost sacrilege to refuse it. Your innate talents, your gifts, your perspective, your experience, your culture, your swag - there is no one like you on the face of the Earth. Your birth was a revolution. Everyday that you open your eyes all of creation holds its breath in anticipation for what you will do. The world only has one of you, and we need you to fill your life canvas with the vision in your heart. I needed to fill my canvas more intentionally, too.

If you think you could be doing more to walk in your purpose, I’m not telling you to quit your job - not yet. We don’t have the benefit of youth to be so reckless - but we do have the pragmatism of experience to lead us forward. I encourage you to start with your personal mission statement. Answer the question, “How do I want to be remembered?” And then slowly start to identify the ways you can shift your daily habits to support that vision. If you are already on that journey - I applaud you. Keep going! Take your time, don’t be afraid to change your mind frequently, and remember that you don’t have to wait for all the pieces to be in play to begin. 

For now, I’ll share a key revelation I had on my own journey.

In 2018, after three years in nonprofit work, I quit my job in Los Angeles, moved to Chicago, and started my own business as a writing consultant. I told myself that my first step towards my personal mission was to be able to say authentically, “I write for a living.” I was doing pretty decent for someone brand new to entrepreneurship; I had regular clients, my branding was on point, and I got great responses from other professionals I met at networking events. I was making money, but not enough to sustain my lifestyle, so I got a job as a grant writer at a nonprofit in the city (still writing for a living!). While I was interviewing I was surprised to find that in the six months of autonomous living as my own boss, my perception of myself had shifted dramatically. 

Suddenly, I was the one that needed to be convinced that this job made sense for me.

I’d already been to lunches with CEO’s and partnered with Presidents as my own entity, so I looked at everyone in that room as my equal, and more than that - I recognized that I was a specialist that they desperately needed. I was empowered knowing that I could make my own money and that becoming an employee was a choice. My inner dialogue shifted from ‘I need this job’ to 'this job needs me’ and there is freedom in that. 

They weren’t the only ones doing the interviewing in that room. And for the first time, I had the confidence and self-awareness to evaluate the opportunities in front of me based on how they aligned with my personal aspirations. There was zero need for compromise. 

That’s it. That’s the key. That has been the part of my mentality that has changed the game. YOU are the secret sauce and you have more power than you think.

I won’t say the road is easy. It's tough dealing with uncertainty and self-doubt, and I didn't find my motivation right away. I didn't feel empowered. I didn't feel like I was a winner. But I’ve faced those initial emotions at every new venture I’ve pursued, and so have you. Hard work is an unavoidable part of a successful life. So will you put that work toward your own mission? Or someone else's?

What is your Personal Mission Statement for your life? Share it below in the comments!

Did you find any gems in this post? Comment them below with a 💎❤️ emoji and share your thoughts!